Honestly

-I smoke cigarettes because they make me feel cool.
-I try hard in school not because I care about my grades, my future, the subject matter of the class, what my parents want, or to try to make up for my almost certain failure in years prior, but because I have nothing else to do.
-I love getting sympathy and attention.
-I take everything personally.
-The main reason I have never been in a fight or hit anyone is because I can feel the pain I would be causing the person just by thinking about it.
-Almost everything I do is for selfish reasons, no matter how selfless it may seem.
-I am terrified of meeting new people but I act like I'm not.
-One of the biggest reasons I never believed in god is because my mom tried so hard to make me a believer.
-I'm in control of my emotions when I try, but I usually don't.
-I'm excellent at masking my feelings.
-I don't like having favors done for me; I want to do everything myself. I then wonder why everything seems so hard.
-My friends mean more to me than they know.
-I used to lie about a lot. About anything.
-I hate taking medication I am prescribed, despite probably needing it.
-I care what everyone thinks of me. I want to be liked by everyone, even people I can't stand.
-I do things to fit in.
-I don't enjoy being high nearly as much as the physical act of smoking.
-I believe in love.
-I don't believe there is a meaning of life.
-I hate being told what to do, and when people tell me what to do I get a strong urge to do the opposite.
-I hold grudges.
-I love laughing and I can be made to laugh very easily.

Eggs

Everything is nearly perfect. My life has not been this good in years. So what am I moping for? I have great friends, higher grades than ever before, extensive amounts of free time, more music than I could ever listen to, more books than I could ever read, I'm graduating in less than 3 months, I'm in good health, I don't have any enemies, and that's just the beginning of the list. Yet I dwell on the following: I'm still in school, I don't have many friends at school, I have my license and I can't drive, my parents are overprotective, and I'm bored. Those are enough to kill my mood. I'm pathetic. Why is it so hard for me to just be grateful for what I have? Why do I constantly prevent myself from being happy? I need to be shaken up again, to be straightened out. I need to appreciate my life and stop asking for more. I'm all talk.

Daddy long legs, common courtesy, age discrimination, blue blood, and legalizing it

Everyone's heard that rumor that Daddy Long Legs are the most poisonous spiders on the planet, but just don't have big enough teeth to penetrate human skin. Well guess what? That isn't true. First off, animals aren't poisonous, only plants; animals are venomous. Second, Daddy Long Legs, also known as Harvestmen, don't even have teeth with which to bite. They have tiny mandibles which are often mistaken for teeth, but are used for picking up decomposing vegetable matter to put into their mouths. Note, vegetable matter, they're herbivores. They have no venom whatsoever. Daddy Long Legs aren't even true spiders. Don't believe me? Look it up for yourself.

Something that's been bugging me is the lack of manners or even common courtesy in teenagers.
1. At school, in a crowded hallway where it is already a struggle to get through, don't stop to talk to your friends. You hold up literally everyone behind you. It's obnoxious and rude.
2. Also, just because you're in a hurry doesn't mean you have the right to push people aside. Holy fuck, you're at school, are you really that excited to get to your next class? Can't wait to get a zero on that homework you didn't do? Take that test you didn't study for? Slow down and quit being a dick.
3. It may be old fashioned, but letting girls go before you is not "pussy shit." A real man can wait an extra 10 seconds to get their food or leave the classroom. Girls won't like you if you don't treat them well. You're not being a fag, you're being a gentleman, and girls recognize that, whether they vocalize it or not.
4. Hold the door for people behind you or even in front of you who are heading the opposite direction. I don't know about other people but it puts me in a bad mood to be walking and expect an open door but instead have it slammed in my face. It takes one extra second. If you can't spare that, you are incredibly selfish.
5. In the past week or so I have been reusing my recyclable water bottles in an effort to save money (not the environment). To do this, I must refill them at water fountains at school. Now since I'm not a dick, I allow people who are getting a drink to go in front of me even if I am already in the process of filling up. But please, in the words of a third grader, "Save some for the whales." Which in real people terms means, don't take your sweet time getting a drink. I'm being courteous by allowing you to go before me, the least you can do is show me some respect back.
6. I have let probably an excess of twenty people in front of me in the past two weeks. You know how many have said, "Thank you."? One. One person out of over twenty people has said, "Thank you," to me. Most don't even acknowledge the fact that I exist. Excuse my language but that's fucking ridiculous. It's only two words.
7. When I bump into people in the hallway, I say, "Sorry." An amazing amount of people find even muttering this single word to be too much of a chore. Come on.
8. I apologize when I do something which I regret, do harm to another, or in any other way displease someone. If I say, "Sorry," I mean it. I don't expect my apology to always be accepted, but if I'm sincere and you blow me off, you're selfish and immature. The least you can do is thank me for apologizing, because some things are dreadfully hard to apologize for.
9. To sum things up, be nice. It makes the world a much more bearable place. We're all in this together after all.

A form of discrimination that isn't commonly talked about is age discrimination. So someone is younger than you, that isn't an excuse to push them around and act like you're better than them. That's bigotry. You're no better than they are just because they're Freshmen. You were a Freshman too once, and just because people didn't treat you the way you should have doesn't mean you should do wrong to others. It's a messed up cycle, and the only way it will stop is if someone decides to be the better person. So why shouldn't that person be you? Wisdom does come with age, but intelligence does not. Freshman aren't dumbasses. I only know a few personally, and they're not much different from Sophomores, Juniors, and Seniors. They're just a little smaller and not quite as mature. Give them a break. I know I was an ignorant prick when I was a Freshman, but I still know that it feels a hell of a lot better to be nice to someone than to put them down. Honestly, I don't feel good at all when I do things at others' expense. It's cliche but it's correct: Treat others the way you want to be treated. However, if you're younger and you think it's cool to try to impress older kids, don't. It's annoying. Most likely they are just using you and making fun of you anyways. Save yourself the humiliaton.

I once talked to someone my age who truly believed that blood is blue until it reaches oxygen, when it instantaneously changes color to red, all before you can see that it is blue. A surprising number of people actually believe this nonsense. Being common sensical, I looked it up. What do you know? Blood is red. Always has been, always will be. Unless you're a certain species of crab, which has blue blood. The main function of blood is to transport oxygen throughout the body. Therefore it never has the chance to be blue if that statement were to be true. Remember little things called red blood cells? They are what gives blood its color. They are named red blood cells for a reason. Because they're red. Plain and simple. If they were blue, they'd be called blue blood cells, but I'm sorry, there are no blue blood cells. An example would be when you have blood drawn. There is absolutely no air inside the container which blood is going into, for fear of contaminating the specimen. You see it red in the container, where it has no chance of meeting air. Blood only appears blue in your veins because light has to travel through your skin and the result is a blue to purpleish hue. You don't have to believe me though, look it up for yourself.

The legalization of marijuana. Not going to happen. The people who currently run the government are the same people who got blazed out of their minds in the 60's. If they still thought it should be legal, they would have made the change by now. I am of the firm belief that marijuana should not be legalized. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way against it. If it were to be legalized the government would put a heavy tax on it. This is called a sin tax (not syntax, that refers to spelling and grammar). A sin tax is something placed on products which the government believes shouldn't be on the market, but can't do away with. Tobacco and alcohol prices are jacked up to discourage people from buying the products. Without the taxation, these items would be relatively cheap. If marijuana were to be legalized, the government would tax it, and it would already become less affordable than it already is (I'm a broke schmuck so I think it's expensive.) There would be an age limit put on it, which would be heavily enforced. Chances are despite the fact that it isn't against the law, most employers still wouldn't hire someone who smokes weed. It will never be legalized because the amount of people who are anti-marijuana greatly outnumber those who are for it. It shouldn't be legal, however the most harsh punishment for it should be a fine. Think back on your life, how many people do you know who have ruined their lives, gotten hurt, or had any physical harm because of marijuana? How many people have you even heard of? The only ones who have are people who get into legal trouble. Marijuana is not harmful in any way to the human body. Even in school they teach you that there are no physical side effects, aside from a bit of short term memory loss.